Longing from Afar
by StarTraveler
Summary: McCoy loves Jim but he thinks Jim loves Spock. Spock and Spock Prime both set him straight.


Disclaimer:I own nothing.

AN:I have a poll on my profile page for TOS and Reboot. Which is your least favorite pairing?

++++++++++  
Leonard McCoy had an overwhelming urge to smash his fist into someone's jaw.

And it wasn't just anyone that made him get that urge, it was Spock.

Even after three years of serving with that man, McCoy could not stand him. The cold emotionless way he always treated everyone including Jim, how everything was illogical, how everything always had to be just perfect.

He could never forgive Spock for stranding Jim on Delta Vega. He could never truly forgive himself for allowing Spock to convince him of it.

_"He is emotionally compromised, doctor; I will make sure the coordinates get him straight to the base."_

Then after Jim had somehow found his way back onboard Spock had nearly choked him to death.

He was standing by the door of the mess hall watching them eat together. How Jim could become friends with that bastard he could never understand. McCoy sighed and went to their table. "May I join you two?"

Jim beamed, "Of course, Bones, you know you don't have to ask."

McCoy sat down, "Hello ."

"Doctor." He replied politely.

"So are you looking forward to going to New Vulcan, Spock?"

"It will be pleasing to see my father again and how the colony is progressing; he has agreed to show Jim and myself the attractions New Vulcan has to offer."

Jim and Spock were spending more and more shore leaves together, and he'd noticed the light touches Jim gave Spock, or how Spock's lip quirked up when Jim tried to be funny. How Jim could want an emotionless robot was beyond him.

He was in love with Jim and had always known it in the back of his mind, but with each time Jim was injured on a mission, each time he saw Jim with Spock, McCoy felt like his blood would start to boil and wanted to scream his frustrations.

But what did he have to offer? He was a divorcee who had proclaimed he'd sworn off romance and marriage, he was known to have a cranky demeanor, who liked to sometimes drink his frustrations away, or readily offer drinks in casual conversations.

McCoy resisted the urge to sigh, he was actually thinking of remaining on Earth when their current mission came to an end. Jim had grown in his role as Captain and had become more responsible. He didn't really need McCoy to hang around. And if he was going to have a romance with Spock, he knew he wouldn't be able to stomach it.

He realized Jim was talking to him, "So you want to come with us?"

"I promised Chapel I'd explore the fauna with her."

Jim's eyes flashed with disappointment.

++++++++++++++  
The next day they arrived in orbit above New Vulcan which was going through a rare cold snap, it was perfect temperatures for the humans but not satisfactory for the Vulcans.

McCoy watched Chapel as she picked some purple flowers; she was a damn good nurse and could handle him when his mule headed behavior as she called it got a little out of hand. He just wished she hadn't embarrassed herself by pining over Spock.

"You ok Len?"

"Just peachy."

She stood up, her blue eyes full of challenge. "Don't lie to me doctor."

"I think Jim is in love with Spock."

Chapel's blue eyes were hard, "I don't think Spock could love anyone on the ship. Uhura dumped him because she needed a real man who could express himself without shame, At least that's what the rumor mill said. I actually wasted a year making a fool of myself."

"Glad to see you came to your senses Chris" He told her.

She smiled, "Me too."

++++++++++++  
Later that night after he returned to the ship and showered, he arrived at the mess hall and saw Jim once again sitting with Spock. Instead of heading over to them he went to M'Benga and Chapel's table. They both smiled and told him to sit down. It was a fun meal as M'Benga told a funny story involving his academy days where a drunken man had danced with the sickbay skeleton.

Chapel smiled, "Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow on New Vulcan?  
Same meadow as today?"

"Time with a pretty lady; can't object to that."

She leaned closer, "And I can show what a good friend I am and help you forget about you...know."

"You're the best."

+++++++++  
Later Jim caught up to him while he was in his office doing some paperwork, "Hey Bonesy I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No more than usual." He replied in his usual cross tone.

Jim smiled, "It's been awhile since we've had breakfast together..."

"Sorry Jim I'm already spoken for."

"You have plans?"

McCoy looked irritated, "I thought I said that."

Jim briefly looked at his feet, "Who with?"

"With me." Chapel said as she walked into the room, "I really need to talk to Len in private Captain."

Jim's blue eyes filled with shock, "Len?"

"You got your name for Jim, she has hers. Now you'll have to return at another time."

"I guess." Jim nodded at them both and McCoy thought he saw a flicker of hurt. "So Chapel what do you want to talk about?"

She looked embarrassed, "Actually nothing, I thought the captain was going to pester you and you'd want a way out...I'm sorry."

"I appreciate it this time nurse."

"Understood doctor."

+++++++++++++  
After McCoy left sickbay Chapel sat down in a chair and sighed, she knew she had been rude to the Captain but it was done and even though she was sorry it couldn't be undone. She cared deeply for Len, not in a romantic way but he was a good friend who had been there for her through many tough times. She still felt bad for introducing him to Jocelyn; that woman had never made an effort to understand him and finally worst of all she had cheated. Len deserved a good dependable person.

She had heard of Kirk's love them and then leaving them reputation, and she didn't want that to happen to her friend.

But frankly in the end there wasn't really anything she could do.

They met for breakfast and in the early morning the sky of New Vulcan was blue, purple, and grey. It really was an amazing combination. They laughed and talked about nothing in particular. Soon they finished and after gathering their supplies, they began the walk back when Chapel nearly stumbled but thankfully he caught her.

She gripped his shoulders while she steadied herself, "My hero."

"Think nothing of it darlin." She giggled and then McCoy caught sight of Jim. Chapel saw him and immediately straightened. "Is that really the captain?"

It was definitely Jim although they couldn't see the expression on his face as he turned and walked off quickly. "Len maybe you better talk to him."

"Oh he'll be fine, what does he have to be upset about?"

++++++++++++  
Jim walked briskly to the main square of the city, not seeing where he was going. The sight he'd seen was literally like a stake through the heart. Spock had been so wrong. Bones did not love him!

He collided with someone and when the red haze cleared from his vision he realized he had collided with Selek, Spock's older self. Selek was the name he'd taken in this reality.

Selek led him to a bench, "Tell me what is wrong Jim?"

Jim was breathing hard, "My first officer told me something that was a lie."

"May I ask what?"

Jim looked into the affection filled eyes, "I'm glad to have your younger self as a friend, it took time but it really helped when he apologized for mentioning my father in front of the academy. Also his apology for Delta Vega helped build a bridge so to speak. We had to mind meld for a mission so I knew he was sincere. But I know we'll never be in love with each other, frankly I don't feel bad about that."

"There is someone else?" Selek asked.

"I hoped so." Jim stood up angry, "But Spock was wrong and I was pathetic to hope!"

"Maybe you can tell me, it might help."

"Three months ago Spock and I were wrestling in the gym, always playing chess is so boring, and he asked why I never noticed why Bones was in love with me. I thought he was crazy but he said he'd noticed the way Bones looked at me, how protective and caring is for me, and he said I'd give Bones a few looks when I wasn't consciously aware."

Jim sat down and took a breath, he looked like a sob was about to escape. "Today I went to the meadow where he was having lunch with Nurse Chapel...I saw them in an embrace."

Selek put his hand on Jim's shoulder, "The ground where those meadows are located can be rocky and unstable in some of those places, its possible one of them could have nearly fallen."

"Bones has been the one constant in my life, if he'd left for any reason..."

"Jim whom do you want by your side when all of your dreams come true?"

Jim looked at him, "Bones only Bones, he's been there for everything else. I'd always want only him there."

"There is always hope Jim but only if you cling to it and want it badly enough."

+++++++++++++++  
McCoy was in sickbay about to head into his office when Spock came in; today his walk seemed even more purposeful than usual. "Doctor I must speak with you."

McCoy led the way into his office and sat in his chair while Spock remained rigidly standing, hands behind his back. "What do you want Spock?"

"I will not allow your behavior to hurt Jim any longer."

McCoy's jaw dropped saw first he was surprised he didn't sprain anything. ""Excuse me?"

"In the last few days your manner to him has become far harsher than usual; you have begun to avoid him, and generally caused him pain."

McCoy stood up, "You're one to talk after bringing up his father in a room full of strangers. You shoved his death in poor Jim's face, stranding him on Delta Vega; you nearly killed him on the bridge. Spock you are a machine and you probably don't regret any of those things!"

"I do regret them doctor as my friendship with Jim has deepened. I know I can never take those actions back and it is illogical to wish to do my actions over again when I know I cannot."

"Jim deserves so much better than to love you."

"Pardon me?" Spock's eyebrow shot up almost into his bangs.

"I've seen you two together. On the bridge, in the mess hall..."

"Jim is an affectionate person to his friends when he chooses to be, but he no longer approaches me on the bridge since I told him he intrudes on my personal space. He and I are not a couple nor will he ever be. He loves you doctor."

"Oh please."

"He does, he talks about you when you are not around, I've seen him look at you, and would defend you to anyone in a second. I know he fears you will leave when our mission comes to an end."

Spock came closer, "I have tried to make up for my actions in the beginning, I believe the expression is 'actions speak louder than words' I always treat Jim with kindness and respect. I hope you two can work things out." With that Spock turned and left without another word.

McCoy knew he needed to sit down before his legs gave out.

+++++++++++  
Later he beamed down to New Vulcan alone, still thinking about how strange this day had become. He went to a wooded area and sat on a bench. After a few moments he heard someone clear their throat. He looked up to see a middle aged Vulcan. "May I sit here?"

"You may" McCoy replied, although he wished to be alone. Then he looked at the man closely. "You must be a relative of Spock's, I can see the resemblance."

The Vulcan's mouth quirked, "You can say I am a relation. You must be McCoy; I have seen your photos and Jim has mentioned you."

"Well he never mentioned knowing any other Vulcans."

"I am Selek; I count Jim as a very good friend."

McCoy gave a little smile, "I'm glad he's gotten good at making friends."

"You will always be his first and most important one."

It wasn't often that McCoy blushed, "He's special."

Selek nodded, "Just as he considers you special...very, very special."

"Are you getting somewhere Selek?"

Selek looked at him, and McCoy felt like those piercing brown eyes could go right through him. "Do you love Jim?"

"Yes" The answer came before he could stop himself.

"He loves you doctor and not Spock like you believed, I asked him once who he wants by his side when all his dreams come true and he said only you. If you love him seize the opportunity. He thinks you love another and is as hurt as you have been." With Selek got up and walked off.

Jim loved him.

Jim loved him.

Jim loved him!

That phrase kept repeating itself in McCoy's mind and he knew he needed to get back up to the ship. He took out his communicator, "McCoy to transporter room, one to beam up."

+++++++++  
Within moments he was caught in the transporter beam and after that familiar feeling of disorientation found himself on the Enterprise. "Thank you Scotty." He rushed out of the room before the Scotsman could reply.

He went to Jim's quarters and rang the buzzer, Jim answered the door and allowed him in. "I was about to come try to find you when Scotty said you were coming aboard."

"Jim..." McCoy was cut off as Jim kissed him hard. McCoy embraced Jim and ran his fingers through Jim's hair. It was so silky and he knew he would never tire of touching it. Jim smelled like a pine forest like he usually did and his body felt so right against McCoy's.

Finally they broke apart for air, "I won't let Chapel have you! I was in your life first!

"Jim...I..."

"Be warned Bones I intend to win you for myself, I've made clear to Chapel she's got a fight on her hands and she looked at me like I was a freak..." McCoy knew the only way to shut Jim up was to kiss him, so he did just that and their tongues dueled.

McCoy broke the kiss, "Chapel is a nurse and a casual friend nothing more." He took Jim's face and cupped it, "I love you James Tiberius Kirk."

Jim's blue eyes filled with tears, "Spock was right?"

"Yes and I thought you were in love with him..."

Jim laughed, "Me and Spock? That's totally illogical." And they both laughed.

Then Jim grew serious, "I consider him a friend and I have gone overboard in expressing it, it hurt when I noticed you were starting to avoid me."

McCoy stroked Jim's cheek, "It was jealousy and hurt darlin."

Jim nearly melted against him, "I love when you call me that."

McCoy nibbled his ear, "I'll be calling you lots of pet names for now on."

Jim moaned, "Sounds wonderful." Then he gasped, "I need to go apologize to Chapel."

McCoy led them to the bed, "You can do that in the morning."

Jim did apologize to Chapel the next day, although it was in the evening when he finally found the time to do it.


End file.
